The birds and the beeeez!

Its a little bit of a sensitive subject talking to your children about “the birds and the bees”, but we are real with our brave knight. We tell him the truth when he asks us things, well as truthful as we can be without being crude or terrifying him because he is after all only 8 years old. So when a few weeks ago we were watching the national geographic channel and he saw 2 lions mating he was naturally curious.

SIDE Note: It was graphic and the private parts were on full display (he calls the male private part a winkie and the female part a vagina).

The conversation that followed went like this:

Mom why is the boy lion putting his winkie in the girls bum? Um… errrr hmmm.. well boy…. the lions are mating. That means they are trying to make a baby. But why in the girls bum mom? Err well no, he is putting it in her vagina. Oh ok. Do people also make babies like that mom? Umm errr… welll… yes. When a mom and a dad want to have a baby they will make love. The dad puts his um… private part… winkie he corrects me… yes.. into the moms vagina and he puts a kind of seed in her tummy. She also has a seed in her tummy and when the seeds meet a baby will grow in the moms tummy and 9 months later she gives birth. Oh ok. By now I can see the little mind working over time. But then how does the baby come out of the moms tummy? Well boy, umm… when the baby is big enough the mom will go to hospital and the doctors and nurses will help the mom give birth. Umm… errr… the baby comes out of her vagina. (SHOOT ME NOW). Ok he says. No shock what so ever, he is taking this like a champ. And is there a lot of blood? Um… well not always a lot but there is some blood yes, and the nurses will wash the baby off and give him to the mom. Ok mom. Whats for supper?

Haha yes that’s my brave knight, taking life altering news like a champ and then swiftly moving on to, whats for supper!

Fast forward to Monday this week. I get to brave knights aftercare to collect him and the aftercare teacher asks me to have a little word. Err ok. Apparently brave knight has told a bunch of girls how babies are made, the true story and shocked them senseless. Haha. The teacher just said that he is not in trouble for knowing the truth, and I  mean why should he be, but they ask that he please not tell the other kids as the parents want to have the chat themselves .

Apparently what happened was brave knight overheard a few girls taking about how babies are made, 6, 7 and 8 year old girls. One of the girls apparently was telling her friends that when a mom and dad love each other they lay next to each other and they hug really tight and then a few months later a stork will bring them a baby!! (REALLY? people are still telling their kids this shit?) Hahahahaha well brave knight was like nope, sorry you got it all wrong, when a boy and girl want to have a baby the boy puts his winkie in the girls vagina and he puts a seed in there and then a baby grows. When the baby is big enough it comes out of the moms vagina covered in blood. HAHAHA, and what ensued was girls going, ewwwww, grossssss, teeeecher, (brave knight) said this…

And then I got called for a “chat”….

I really didn’t know whether to laugh at the other parents stupidity at telling their kids such nonsense, or laugh with pride because that’s my boy! Or cry because the whole thing was absurd.

So at home Monday evening I sat down with brave knight and told him that he was not in trouble, but I explained to him that other parents want to tell their children how babies are made and he should try not to tell the other kids the details he knows. He just looked at me and was like, but mom where would a stork get a baby from? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!

I just smiled and thought….

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I mean how can I argue with that? It is stupid and I cant believe parents are telling their kids such nonsense in 2017 where teenage pregnancies are on the rise and there are all sorts of diseases going around! Be truthful with your kids, they are more resilient and can handle more of the truth than you think.

Haha then on another note I was telling my bestie (you know who you are mwaaaaah) about it and she has a son who is a year younger than brave knight (they are also besties) and she thinks its brilliant. She says when her son asks her about the birds and the bees she will tell him to ask his bestie, he knows all about it. Embarrassing convo taken care of!!

 

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