I’m sorry about the mess, but I live here.

Wow, what a mess. Literally and emotionally. My house is a mess, its mostly clean washing and bags to be unpacked from our weekend away (but having a small shoe box for a house its very very noticeable as there just isn’t enough space to put things), clean linen folded and piled up in the rooms waiting to be packed away (why universe cant I have a washing fairy at my house, like I did as a child, only joking mom I know it was you, and I love you so much for it). My head is a mess. My shoulders are hunched and tense, and every time I remind myself to relax and release the tension in my shoulders, it returns 2 minutes later without me knowing. I realize every few minutes that I’m sitting with hunched shoulders, tensed, like I’m waiting for impact. Waiting for something to hit me. Bracing for the pain. Dark clouds be gone. Please. Not this week.

Weekend away was great. I’m so grateful for my mom, she knows me, she knows when I’m at the end of my rope with social interactions, and then she leaves me to be, just be, alone. She takes the kids and does things with them. The weekend was mostly upbeat though, its now that I’m back to the whole life thing that I feel the cloud returning, I just want to cry for no good reason at all. My neck hurts. I want that sheet now, the one for over my head, to make the world just disappear.

Anyone in possession of an extra sheet for me? Please?

…and don’t you dare say that I have clean linen piled in my house I should use one of those. Damn laundry, bane of my life.

Saw a funny joke this morning, thought id share it with you. Haha.



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