Google voice to text thinks my mother graduated with dolphins!

My mother likes to use Google’s ‘voice to text’ feature on her phone. And as a result we have a really confusing relationship where most of the time I have no fucking clue what she is saying.

Check this out:


I have no idea, I mean wow. Apparently she wants to tell me something and apparently she matriculated (graduated) with dolphins. Aaaaallll riggghhhttttyyy then mom.

And this:

wp_ss_20170512_0002 (2)

Yeah, I’m done I have no idea. Anyone have an idea of what the fuck she is saying?

And then there is this time where we were chatting about birthday gifts for my little girl.

Aaaand she says this:

wp_ss_20170512_0003 (2)

Errr ok. Well, I suppose it validates that this is in fact my mother and I was not adopted, she was not kidnapped It’s actually her. Haha if she starts sending me normal messages I might think she has been abducted and is trying to warn me.

Aaaaand this: (places hand on face in resignation, followed by a sigh).

wp_ss_20170512_0005 (2)

So wow. Again. Drop the mike I’m out. Hahaha.

I usually guess what she is saying and reply and if I’m totally off topic she will let me know. Other times I’m sure she thinks I’m mad because I’ve just changed the topic of conversation so radically that she thinks I wasn’t paying attention or don’t care.

But to wrap this up, thanks Google. Thanks for this one of a kind relationship I have with my mother. I could never have done it without you.



  1. HaHa yes true my phone and I don’t have the best of relationships, especially Google’s speech to text lol. But then most normal relationships are boring… right?

    Liked by 1 person

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